Attack of the OCs!
by Abbie Von Dutch
Summary: Teddy Fatale. Age: 17. Rating: Awesome / Victoria Sakura Yuki Nicholson. Age: 18. Rating: Slutty / Knives Chau. Age: 16. Rating: Unoriginal / Marylin Friday. Age: 17. Rating: Angsty / Lily Potter. Age: 16. Rating: Ninja?
1. Wimmen'

Hola. I'm sure you're wondering who I am, and what sort of weapon or meister I am.

Well guess what, chumps. I'm neither. I do, however, live in Death City, but I'm not a student of your precious Shibusen.

Sorry. I sound like a dick. Actually, I did go to Shibusen when I was younger, but I could never muster the physical energy to be a meister, and I couldn't transform into a weapon. So, here I am, working at a local record store, because really that's all I'm good at.

"Teddy, could you deliver these records to a customer's house? I have to do inventory." My manager, Ned, had thick glasses and a combover, but he was so funny. And he gave me a job, so he's pretty much a boss. No pun intended. He placed a box full of records with an address and name written on the flap on the counter. I nodded, grabbed the box, and pushed open the glass door with a tinkle.

I looked at the address, and my eyes widened. The customer lived in that big mansion near Shibusen... Death the Kid was his name, I think. Not like it was hard to remember, he was Death's son. Death the Kid? Death's son. See the connection?

My thoughts didn't stop throughout my journey to Death the Kid's mansion. I was thinking about going to an aquarium somewhere, and petting all the manta rays and starfish, until I came to a stop in front of a gate. I pushed it open with my back and walked to the door to ring the doorbell.

"Yes? How may I help you?" A boy my age in a full-on _suit_ answered, his yellow eyes curious.

"Ah, I'm here to deliver a package you ordered from the record store. Would you like help carrying it in?"

"Kid, who's this?" A girl with bright pink hair and huge boobs- I mean, eyes walked up the path to Kid's house. She was dressed in a rather short skirt, and a sweater that needed to acquire a few more buttons, if you know what I mean. She glared at me, to which I responded with a blank stare. "I'm Teddy Fatale. Nice to meet you both. So do you need help with this package?"

"I'm Death-" "He's Death the Kid, and I'm Victoria Sakura Yuki Nicholson. We're really busy planning a party, so you can just leave the stuff on the doorstep and we'll get them when we need them."

"You want them to warp in this heat? Just put it inside the doorway. I was offering help, but I have a job to get to if you don't mind." My patience ran out, I thrust the package in Kid's hands(Did that sound dirty to you? Bah, teenagers.), and I dusted my apron off. "I'm sorry if you're mad, but please don't slam the gate! I don't want it to be crooked, or asymmetrical!"

"Whatever, you can just take that out of my paycheck too!" I glared at the ground, kicked a rock, and went back to work.

"Ned, you really need to pay me more. People are ridiculous." I had gotten back to the store with a grimace on my face.

"I'll pay you more when you actually start working," Ned shot back. The fan was blowing his combover every which way, and I cracked a smile at the ridiculousness of my boss. I walked around the store, which was empty, and put records that were taken out of their place back in their crates.

There was the tinkling of a bell, and I looked towards the door to find a white-haired boy with red eyes. "Welcome to For the Record, is there anything I can help you with?" I set down a record and smiled.

"Hello, do you have the new Tower of Power album? I think it came out last week."

"Ah, that one. Hold on a sec." Yes, _that_ one. I was going to save a copy in the back for myself, but it sold out and Ned would kill me if he found out that I hid a requested album. I brought it out, still wrapped in plastic, and sadly handed it to him. My breath came out in a sigh.

"That will be... _sigh_, $12.87." This was not my day.

"Sure. Are you okay?" The boy's eyebrow was raised warily.

"I'll be okay. Just take good care of her, alright? I'll miss you baby," I said to the record in his hand, as I dropped change into his other. "Have a nice day."

"Thanks. You must have pretty good taste in music. Do you have a large collection?"

"In my pants," I said automatically. "I mean, uh, it's pretty big. There's plenty of obscure old bands sitting around my house, but I get good deals here, so it's good."

"Wanna hook me up?"

"I'm down with that homes, if you mean you're getting a job here. Though you'll be working under me."

"I meant with a discount, cool people like me don't get jobs."

"Cool? As in lazy and useless? Then I must be a huge geek." With my lighting fast wit, I probably made two enemies in one day. The boy shrugged it off though, and waved goodbye before exiting the shop. I watched him for a few seconds before this weird Asian girl tackled him.

"Soul! When are you going to play the piano for me?" I tried not to eavesdrop, but this random person who I did not know was yelling, right outside my workplace.

"Who are you?" That Soul guy obviously didn't know her. DENIED, haha.

"I'm Knives Chau! But I know you because I'm so obsessed with music and all, hahaha." Knives Chau? Like that chick from Scott Pilgrim? They were actually kind of similar, like obsessed, and... Asian. And probably underage, too. Soul looked back at me pleadingly, and I sighed.

"Miss? I'm sorry, but you're causing a scene. Please release the white-haired-" My eyes traveled to the record and I gasped. It was on the ground, covered in dust. I picked it up carefully and heard the sound of shattered vinyl scraping together. Tears sprung to my eyes.

"Y-you bitch... for all this talk about knowing a bunch of stuff about music, you have no respect. How dare you harm the Tower of Power... you basically just spit in God's face." The girl just kept tugging on Soul, who watched the scene with wide eyes. I stood from my crouched position, and glared at the girl. "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL FOR THIS." She looked at me finally, surprised.

"And who the hell are you? You don't even know Soul like I do."

"Not cool, let go." Soul pulled himself from her grip and stood behind me. "And you broke the album I just bought." She broke out into tears.

"I... I just wanted you to like meeeee!" She cried before running off.

I just held the record in my hands and looked at Soul sadly. "I'm sorry, it's broken... I'll let you know when another copy gets shipped in, and you can get it free of charge. This wasn't your fault. Nobody could have seen _that_ coming."

"Wait, what's your name?" He put his hand on my shoulder.

"Teddy Fatale?"

"I'm Soul. Don't worry about it."

"Who was that chick?"

"Knives Chau, apparently. Never seen her before."

"Well played, sir. That name is probably fake, though, unless somebody went back in time and told her mom to name her that. She stole that name from a comic character."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. That bitch. So what kind of name is Soul?"

"I could ask the same, Teddy Fatale. You sound like a comic book character yourself."

"Sorry my dad was such a huge nerd. At least it's not like, Alice Cooper or Gene Simmons or something."

"Your mom was okay with that?"

"My mom didn't plan on sticking around, so she was cool with anything."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's cool. Listen, I have to close up shop, or my boss will kill Bill- I mean, me. I appreciate the consolations though."

"See you around, Fatale."

"Peace out brother." I walked back to the shop, hung up my apron, threw the shattered pieces of Soul's album in the trash, and locked the front door. I stuffed my keys into my bag, and turned around to see that girl with five names. "Oh, hey."

Her pink hair was pulled into a ponytail now, and she glared at me. "It's all your fault! Now Kid's _mad_ at me!"

"What did I do?" Seriously, I'm just the delivery person from the record store.

"He thinks I'm some sort of _bitch_ or something, now, and he says that he was going to _invite_ you to his _party_ but _never_ got the chance!" What's up with all the italics? Shit.

"Invite me? I don't even know you people. Please leave me alone." I turned in the direction of my house, and walked off.

"It's all your fault, bitch!" I ignored her, because I couldn't remember her name (which was really really long).

I walked down the street a couple blocks before running into Death the Kid again. He was with three girls, and seemed a little frazzled. I was going to try to pretend I didn't know him, but one of his little girlfriends bumped shoulders with me really really hard. She fell to the ground dramatically.

"Oh, sorry," I said and held out my hand for her. She frowned and her eyes filled up with tears. I looked for a second at her face, which was covered in peircings. Her hair was also jet black, with purple streaks in it.

"Kid! Did you see that? She pushed me down for no reason!" I held my hands up defensively.

"What? I didn't do anything! You people are crazy!"

"Haha! I like this girl!" A girl with short blonde hair walked up to me. "I'm Patty!"

Another girl that looked related to Patty walked up too. "I'm Liz."

"And I'm-"

"This is Death the Kid, and I am Marylin Friday!" The girl stood and interrupted Kid. Poor Kid. Hey. Why were all these girls hanging out with this rich kid? Did I miss something?

Liz and Patty glared at Marylin. Okay, so it wasn't just me. Phew.

"Teddy, I was wondering if you would come to my party? I feel bad for what happened-"

"Oh, that girl with ten names told me. I'll talk to my boss, but seriously... you don't have to invite me, if it's just for what happened today. I know it wasn't your fault."

"Um, how about I walk you home then?"

"Cheesy, but easy. Come, my child." I beckoned him to follow. Liz and Patty walked off, and dragged that Friday girl with them.

"So, what is this party for?"

"It's just something that I do once in a while." Oh yeah, he's rich.

"Okay. So why do all these girls follow you around? Like, are you their sugar daddy?"

"Liz and Patty are my weapons. Those other two girls are my friends, I guess. They drive me crazy, but as long as they don't ruin my symmetry, they can stick around."

"You don't sound too sure about the friend part. P.S. Symmetry? What's up with that?"

"It's my aesthetic, and the center of my being! I feel off-balance without it!" I decided not to mention the stripes in his hair. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Well, thanks for walking me home. I'll see you around, Kid."

"Wait! Will you tell me whether you're going to my party or not? I need one more person to reach 88... the perfect number." I sighed.

"I will talk to my boss about it, but no promises. Music is a risky business." I waved, unlocked the door to my house, and went inside.


	2. It Makes Sense

**Hello, all! I am able to finally catch a break from my SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL! Guess what? The classrooms' air conditioners were out! :D  
And I also had a long day. Went to school at seven for flute ensemble, stayed after for an hour for jazz band, had an hour to do homework at a friend's house, went back for two more hours for our little "Glee" group. We were there first though. Bitches. In short, I only came home an hour ago. IT'S EIGHT O CLOCK PEE EM.**

**Life's good. This new story is written much better than the last, but... I'm kind of making fun of fanfiction. Sorry. You're welcome.**

"Good morning, creepy laughing sun. Is anyone going to ruin my day today?" I inquired out the window when I woke up. It didn't answer.

Getting ready required a whole hour, to cook bacon and take a shower and junk. When I left, my stove was covered in grease and crumbs, and my home was messy.

My walk to work was pleasantly uneventful; no crazy chicks glaring at me, no boys ruining my life, no damaged goods.

"Looks like this'll be a good day." I smiled. Oh how wrong I was.

"LOOK OUT, KNAVE." A boy with hella muscles and a voice that projected to the stars ran into me as he was sprinting past. He was followed by a pretty girl with long black hair, and after them was a girl with black hair and glasses.

"Wait! Black Star! Tsubakiiii!" She stopped next to me. "I lost them. Why didn't you stop them?"

"I don't want to die," I muttered.

"Well... fine. I'm Lily Potter. My parents were killed by an evil wizard and I have a twin. He lives in England though. My mom's name was Lily Evans, so therefore I'm related to Soul, but I'm definitely in a love triangle with Black Star and Kid." What?

"Okay? My name's Teddy, and I have a job. I don't have any love interests bacause that will probably get me killed."

"You DON'T go to Shibusen? What kind of OC are you?"

"Don't talk to me like that, young man. Go to school." She stuck out her tounge and ran off.

I walked the rest of the way to work, and Ned chastised me for being late.

"I'm not paying you to be a reckless youth! Now put on your apron and organize these new arrivals," he said before sipping some coffee. I blew a raspberry at him before getting to work.

I was putting some Neil Young albums away before I spotted... TOWER OF POWERRRR. I almost peed myself, but regained my composure. Soul paid for it, soooo it would only be fair that he got it. Piss, why did I have morals? The front door opened, and I looked towards the entrance to see Death the Kid.

"Oh, what's up, Kid? Did your records end up warping?"

"No, I didn't leave them outside. I was wondering if you could come to the party or not, because I need to fill up that 88th spot for sure."

"When is i-"

"She would love to go," Ned said when he walked out of the back room.

"Great! It's this Saturday, at eight!" I glared at Ned as Kid walked out of the store.

"What's up with you, Ned? WHYYYYY?"

"Because I'm tired of being your only friend."

"Don't be like that. I'm not getting paid to go to the party, you suck." Now I had nothing to do, except party. It was every college kid's dream, and my nightmare.

I sat at the counter all day, but no business, so Ned just sent me home for the day. I was putting my work stuff away, when I came up with a BRILLIANT PLAN. _Hmm, I bet Soul will be at the party, huh? I can just give him his stupid album then. _I grabbed the Tower of Power record and left.

It was Friday, so I took the liberty of listening to Soul's record in my house. It was soooo good, I just sat on my couch eating leftover chow mein and listening to the record, just like the hipster I was.

At about seven, I looked in my fridge to see that I was out of Tang, damn. I put on my blue 'n' white sneakahs and locked the door behind me.

The cobblestone streets of Death City were deserted as I walked past my work, past Kid's house, and made it to the small grocery store. My feet carried me to the juice aisle and my sneakers squeaked on the linoleum floor.

After turning a corner, I saw Knives Chau(IF that is her real name) in the cake and baking aisle, sneaking around. I secretly followed her to see that she was secretly following Soul, who was with a petite girl in a long trench coat and boots. I saw that Chau was about to make a move and ambush them, but I grabbed a box of cake mix and nailed her in the head with it.

She glared at me, while I innocently walked away with my Tang in a basket.

"Teddy? Is that you?" Soul found me, it seems.

"Oh, hey. What's crackalackin? You owe me your life, by the way."

"Oh, Knives? She won't leave me alone, I can't even shower anymore without being scared. This isn't cool." The girl next to him raised her eyebrows in disapproval. I waved at her and smiled.

"Soul, introduce me to your lady friend," I said, referring to the trench coat-wearing, pigtail-sporting, green-eyed teenager that looked like she wanted to eat Knives Chau for an afternoon snack.

"Oh. Teddy Fatale, this is Maka Albarn, vice versa. When's my album coming in?"

"Nice to meet you. You need to be patient, sir. The music business is a demanding, unforgiving lifestyle. BUT IT TOTALLY CAME IN TODAY. I took it home because I was going to surprise you, but you can't seem to leave me alone. It sounds like... if gold were a sound, and you were listening to it while sitting in a pool of sweet, sweet jello and drinking a cold glass of Tang. That's how I imagine it, at least."

"You're crazy, get away from me."

"No album for you, chode. I'm going to blow this joint. Bye, Maka."

My mood was rather good when I walked home, before I saw shadows stretching across the street from behind me. I turned around and saw a crowd of some girls I met in the past twenty-four hours. Lined up left to right were the girl with fifteen names, Knives Chau, and the girl with a hundred piercings. Their arms were crossed.

"Ladies," I did the "what's up" nod thing.

"Here you are, homewrecker," said the pink-haired girl. I really needed to remember one of her names, at least.

"Homewrecker? I didn't even slam his gate that hard!"

"Stop trying to steal our true loves! It's rude!" Knives spoke up, her eyebrows furrowed.

Wait, what now? What did I do? Oh, right. They were obsessed with those boys. Wasn't there one more...? "Well, stop stealing names from comic books!"

"Leave her alone!" The final one jumped in front of me like a ninja, with the two people she was chasing earlier by her side. My face was probably really stupid looking, because I had no idea what was going on.

"How dare you attack a disciple in front of I, the great Black Star!" Who?

"Don't worry, dude. We got it covered," said that Lily girl, who gave me a thumbs up.

"I didn't know who was going to save me, but I appreciate it, yo."

"Tsubaki! Let's go!" The girl with long black hair transformed into a weapon, and landed in the boy's hands. I bit my lip in jealousy and anticipation, thinking about the chance I gave up when I quit school, and quietly rooting for Black Star. "I wish I never stopped going to Shibusen. I could've been all badass and whatnot."

Lily looked at me in surprise before yelling, "Alright! I think we showed them. Let's go." I looked towards the girls, to see that they were already on their way, spitting at the ground and kicking up dust.

"Wow, thanks, Lily, and uh..."

"Black Star! Don't worry, I'm quite the merciful god!"

"Tsubaki." I smiled at them and offered them food and stuff, but Tsubaki kindly refused, and dragged the protesting Black Star and Lily off. "Cool beans, I like having ninja friends."

The next day was the day of the party, but instead of getting ready, I decided to attempt to beat my high score all day on my dad's old Atari. When I looked at the clock, there was some discreet pants-wetting involved. I threw on some nice clothes and brushed my hair before grabbing the album I saved for Soul and heading over to Kid's place.

Unsurprisingly, Kid answered the door. When I entered, there were already tons of people dressed in amazing clothes, talking in groups. "Can I get you anything, Teddy? Drinks, snacks?"

"Uh, I'm great, thanks." I always felt awkward when people, like, did stuff for me. It was much more comfortable for me to walk into my friends'(?) houses without knocking, borrow movies without asking, and grab food whenever. I spotted Soul over by the window, chatting with Black Star, and I walked over.

"Oh, hey, Teddy," he said boredly. I guess he wasn't a party person?

"What up, kids. Here's your record, boy. I went through hell to get here with this intact, what with danger around every corner, and your girlfriend trying to kill me."

"GIRLFRIEND? Haha, Soul, you dog!" Black Star patted Soul on the shoulder roughly.

"She's not my girlfriend. Knives Chau is crazy, and a stalker."

"And Asian. Oh, and she's coming this way."

"What? Hide me!" Soul attempted to duck and still be suave at the same time.

"Gotcha. I'm going to get a drink. See you," I waved and walked off.

For the whole duration of the party, I stood in front of a painting on Kid's wall, studying the... symmetrical-ness? _You know, I never really even noticed how symmetrical something was until I met these crazy people._ _I blame Ned._

"Teddy, are you alright? Can I get you anything?" Kid had appeared next to my side.

"I'm fine, just observing this symmetry, I guess. I only know like ten people here, and three of them think I'm trying to steal their boyfriend. So I'm just hanging out. Don't be offended if I leave early, or stab that girl with pink hair." Kid looked over at the girl I just mentioned, who was stealing glances at him and giving me the stink-eye, but not at the same time. That would be amazing if she did, though. "Dude, she's giving you eyes. That means she wants you."

The boy next to me gulped visibly before saying, "She scares me. I don't know why all these girls follow me."

I thought about this for a second. _Hmm, obsession with cleanliness and symmetry, nice clothes, perfectly styled hair, clean house, matching decorations, and he's surrounded by girls, but doesn't make a move on any of them. Is he... OH MY GOD._

"Hey, Kid."

"Yes?"

"Are you... would you happen to be... _gay?_" I whispered the last word.

"What?" Realization dawned on his face. "Oh... NO! How do I come off as... that?"

"Just wondering. It's okay if you are, but you should tell the girl with metal eyebrows and busty over there. That would make my day, ha."

"I'm NOT! No, no no no."

"Woah, calm down. I believe you. You had me at the first 'no.'" I scratched the inside of my elbow boredly. "I'm going to head home, now. All those girls over there are dressed like princesses and whatnot, but all I wore was this nice shirt. It's kind of awkward. Thanks, and see you." My feet carried me across the clean floor to the door and out.


	3. Schmisischmation

**You guyssss. What's new? How's school?**

**I woke up at 4:30 yesterday morning so I could get to school by 5:30.  
Why 5:30? SENIOR SUNRISE Y'ALL. Yep, and my parents called me at midnight last night wanting a ride home. Why do they wait until I get half my recommended sleep to do these things to me? What the shit? Welp, that was my story for today.**

**Enjoy, two people that actually read this story. :)**

_Park that car. Drop that phone. Sleep on the floor. Dream about me._

Life slowed to a boring halt. Few people came in to the record store, and those who did weren't anyone I knew. My daily routine never changed, and I lived life to its emptiest.

After work one day, I looked in the mirror to see a sunken-cheeked, empty-eyed, frowny faced girl staring back at me. Just kidding! It was me. That would be so scary though.

Most of my night was spent playing video games and finishing leftovers for dinner. I was close to beating my personal high score before the doorbell rang, distracting me and resulting in a GAME OVER.

Pissed, I stomped over to the door and opened it with a frown on my face. It was Kid. I slammed the door. The doorbell rang again. It was still Kid.

"Can I help you...?"

"Um, sorry to bother you, but I got kicked out. Liz and Patty got mad when I rearranged Liz's makeup and Patty's stuffed animals, so I have nowhere to go..." My expression softened.

"What about Soul and Maka? Black Star and Tsubaki? Your fans?" He shook his head.

"Soul and Maka don't have enough room, Black Star and Tsubaki only have one bed, and just... no. Please don't make me stay with them."

"Fine. You can stay in my dad's old room. Rearrange it if you want, but don't lose anything. Or else I'll kill you." His eyes lit up. I never realized what a pretty color they were. Nobody had yellow eyes. "Um, come sit down, or something. Hot cocoa?" He nodded.

"Yes, please. Thank you, Teddy."

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Kid spoke up.

"If you don't mind me asking, where is your dad?" He looked like he was trying really hard not to touch anything.

"Oh, he's gallivanting about in Canada."

"Why Canada?"

"My mom broke his heart and whatnot. It was a while ago, but he decided last year to go find himself. In... Canada. It's hard to explain, I dunno. I guess it's just cheaper to run away there than go to some snazzy European country and spend euros. Besides, free health care there." My shoulders came up in a shrug before I finished stirring his cocoa and placing it in front of him.

"So, what do you do when you're not at work?"

"Live vicariously through video games, and listen to music, basically. Do you play?"

"No. The controllers are completely asymmetrical, and require unbalanced thumb movement. I don't like it."

"Okay, I guess you're right. But can't you at least appreciate the work people put in making them? Making impossible things come true, putting layers upon layers of pixels together to make a masterpiece that captures the imagination... it's amazing. They're works of art. It takes dedicated artists to do something like that." I was super passionate about video games, yeah. No, that was not sad in any way.

"But... symmetry...!"

"Sorry. The best I can offer is that my shoes match." I pointed down to my feet to prove my point. My shoes were awesome.

We spent the rest of the night just kind of talking(I needed to make sure he didn't mess up my house), and I guess I was tired, because I fell asleep on the couch midsentence. I woke up to find a blanket neatly covering me, with a note from Kid saying he went to apologize to Liz and Patty.

My house was perfectly clean.

"Dammit! What a dick."

Apparently those girls who were obsessed with Kid found out about our little slumber party. I was enjoying their absense, before that Marylin Friday chick opened the door to my work and placed herself in front of the counter I was sitting at.

"What kind of music store is this? There is absolutely _no_ My Chemical Romance, or anything remotely like them!" Her hands were on her hips and her piercings were all "clinky-clink!" when they hit eachother.

"This isn't one of your hip Hot Topic stores or whatever. We do have some delicious fiber glass insulation you can eat, though. It makes your tummy itch." I tapped my fingers on the counter boredly.

She glared at me. "Only I can be sarcastic! I need it as a defense mechanism because I am so broken, so don't do it anymore."

"Don't tell me what to do. I'm old enough to be your father."

"Don't bring my father into this!"

"I wasn't talking about him- oh, never mind! You're gay."

Friday flipped her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms angrily. Ned came out of the back room and saw what was going on. "Can I help you, miss?"

"Don't bother, Ned. Her music tastes are too specific for us."

"Well, you- your store sucks! I hope it goes bankrupt!"

Ned finally got the picture. He escorted the crazy girl out and issued her a yellow card. Yes, we did that. We're awesome.

"Ned, I have a new idea for the shop. How about we do a record store slash hair product store slash cafe?" I swiped my hand sideways whenever I said "slash."

"No, Teddy. No." Bummer.

I went home to find a package at the door. Excited, I opened it with my key, then unlocked the door to my house. Inside was a couple of records, with a note set inside.

_Dear Teddy,_

_Life in Canada is crazy. There's so many indie bands it's not even funny. I got some good deals, though, (even though tax is more than the actual product here) on some records for you. I hope everything is going well there. Bitches ain't shit._

_Love, Dad_

Sifting through the records, I didn't even notice the huge commotion going on outside across the street. I put on the one that looked most promising - You Forgot It In People by Broken Social Scene - and grabbed some ice cream out of the freezer. For the duration of side A, I sat listening and pigging out on rocky road, before finally hearing indistinct gutteral noises outside.

I set down my ice cream on the coffee table(clean thanks to Kid) and went to the front window to check it out. Apparently, an afreet had run rampant through my neighborhood, and some Shibusen kids had set out after it. My eyes narrowed as I tried to recognize the student...

Oh, Victoria. She was kicking some afreet's ass, with her partner, who was transformed into a large hammer. I went outside to root for the afreet.

"Yeah! Get it!"

She glanced back at me. "If you weren't such a useless record store clerk you could help me!" Ugh.

"Oh, it's on." I ran back into the house, grabbed my dad's old aluminum baseball bat, and headed back.

"Dieieieieieie!" My bat swung straight into the monster's stomach and it landed on the ground a few feet away. VSYN(the girl's initials) brought her hammer down on its head. It died. Her partner transformed back and ate the red soul. He was hot, just saying.

"Your turnnnnn," I said, turning to the pink-haired girl who had been trying to make my life hell for the past, like, two weeks. My mouth stretched wide in a creepy grin and my hand gripped tighter on the bat. She glared at me.

"You really think you stand a chance against me?"

"Eat shit!" The bat was brought to rest on my shoulder as my feet carried me faster, gaining inertia. "You're such a douche! God, just leave me alone! All of you people! I was fine until you ordered those records! I liked living in unassuming bliss! Just..." I stopped where I was. A metal clinking sound came when I dropped the bat onto the cobblestone. She didn't flinch when I brought my fist to her face, and stopped an inch away.

"Just go away..." I dropped to my knees and looked up at her. "Just... you people... I don't understand..."

"You're giving up?"

"Giving up on what? There was nothing there."

"You're lying. I know you like having friends, don't even try to pretend you don't."

"You don't know me. Leave me alone. I don't get you people! You're obsessed! You're crazy! All of you! That's why I left Shibusen! I can't stand it! You just kill people who used to be people like it's nothing! It's insane!" I felt a stinging pain on my face.

Victoria was standing above me, glaring, her hand red from contact with my cheek.

"Can't you even try? You can't just give up like that. Stop acting like a child. Fight for your life, just like we fight for Kid. At least we don't just give up when some new meat walks in front of our crush." She huffed, blowing her pink bangs away. "Grow up, Teddy."

That was the first time she ever used my name. I was usually called some name that related to "hoebag" or "twat" or something like that.

So anyways.

That boy who was her partner was hot. End of story. I was like, "We should make out." He was like, "I concur." So we did. I wrote you guys a poem about it.

"It was horrible for everyone.

And that.

Includes.

You."

by Teddy Fatale


	4. Bonding?

**Introducing some new charactersssss. evemiliana requested an appearance by three OCs, and I obliged.  
I'M SO KIND.**

**Just kidding.  
P.S. evemiliana, I tried to portray them as best I could. I hope you enjoy.  
P.S.S. This took forever to write. I'm shoooo busy :C**

"Boom snap clap boom boom snap clap," I said while I was making up beats with my hands. The boredom of sitting all day at a counter had set in early. Not to sound corny or anything, but I had thought a _lot_ about what Victoria said since she said it. Maybe I sort of did enjoy the company and chaos that was brought about by these poorly written-about people. After work, instead of walking straight home, I walked to the basketball court that was around the corner from the record shop.

My mood was in high spirits when I picked up a basketball someone left and shot some hoops, mostly missing the basket. "This shit is hard. I quit."

"I'm not too good at basketball either," said a voice from behind me. I turned to see Maka, with Soul and three other people I didn't recognize.

"Oh, hey," I said and threw the ball at Soul. He caught it, unfortunately.

"Teddy, meet Wolfie, Damien, and Santana. Wolfie saved my life," he said dully.

"Yup yup! Lights out for Knives!" A girl with brown and blue hair bounced up to me. "I'm Wolfie. Damien and Santana are brother and sister, and also my slavessssssss." She laughed. The boy, who looked like an aryan heathen with his blond hair and blue eyes, eyed Maka. The other girl, presumably Santana, looked like she was going to axe murder someone.

"Soooo, are you new here?"

"We're going to keep that a mystery. Don't you go to Shibusen?" Santana crossed her arms and looked at me. I scratched the back of my neck and shook my head.

"I work at For the Record. Heard of it?"

"Oh! The record store, right? Who made up that name?" Wolfie rocked back and forth on her heels. I squinted at her and finally noticed she had... ears. Like, legit pointy fuzzy ears that twitched and moved themselves.

"My manager Ned. Uhh, are those real?" My finger pointed at the perked appendages on the top of her head. She smiled. "Yep!"

"Yeah, and I thought Maka was weird," Soul piped in. Wolfie glared and Maka brought the spine of a book down on his head. I couldn't help but yell, "Repent, you heathen!" Everyone stared. Damien used this moment to crouch on one knee and flip up Maka's skirt with his hand. "Ooh, going with white, eh?"

"I-it's laundry day," Maka stammered and blushed. I stared at the situation awkwardly before Santana brought her hand quickly and harshly across her brother's face. My jaw dropped open.

"Santana-slap! Damien," she began. "May the devil have mercy on your godless soul. Actually, rot in hell." Her hands came to rest on her hips.

"Um, is that my mom calling? I better go." My sneakers scuffed the blacktop before turning my body towards the exit. "See you later."

"Does her mom seem mean to you, Jeremy?" Wolfie brought a finger to her lip cutely. Damien glared at her. "Don't call me that!"

Soul shrugged.

"She doesn't ever see her mom. Just flaking out on us. How uncool." I frowned and looked back at them. He turned to Wolfie to see she had disappeared. Santana had Damien by the collar of his shirt, her black hair mussed from the effort of slapping him. "We better leave too. See you kids later." Damien waved sheepishly. They walked off towards the opposite direction of the Fatale household.

"Sorry, Soul, Maka. I have to run," I said to them. "Bye for reals this time." They didn't respond when I walked away. I didn't head for home, though. I just walked.

"Pitter patter, pitter patter," came a familiar happy voice.

"Stop it, Patty! Rain ruins the symmetry of everything! No! Get away!"

I put a palm to my forehead. "God, they're like ants." But I froze. Victoria's words came back clearly in my head.

_"You're lying. I know you like having friends, don't even try to pretend you don't."_

In my head, a hamster stopped running in his wheel, jumped off, and punched another hamster in the face. _I get it. I'll stop running._

"HEY GUYS," I said cheerfully, and albeit creepily complete with weird grin on my face.

"You're not Teddy!" Patty said before taking me into a chokehold. Liz wrestled her off me and we all fell to the ground in a pile. Kid stared at us when we stood, but I was the only one covered in dirt and the only one with my clothes and hair all messed up, because I was caught at the bottom of the pile when we fell.

God can be funny. After making Maka and Soul mad at me, Patty attacked me, Liz grabbed Patty, and my clothes were torn and dirty. I guess Karma exists, since Death does too. I would picture Karma with a beard, or an amazing moustache. Yes.

Anyways, after catching sight of my appearance, Death the Kid exclaimed that all my balance and symmetry had been thrown out the window. "Liz! Patty! Look what you've done! She looks hideous now!" I tried not to feel insulted at this, because I knew he couldn't help himself. He grabbed my hands - both of them - and dragged me to his mansion.

After a long, long time, consisting of finding the perfect outfit that balanced well with my hair color and skin tone, Kid finally placed a neatly folded shirt and shorts in front of me. During my wait, Liz and Patty treated the scrapes I had acquired as apology, and Patty, the main cause, covered all my unharmed skin in bandaids. They were painful to remove.

"So, what were you doing walking on the opposite side of town from your house? Running errands?" Kid said after I was freshly changed. I sat on the couch with my arms wrapped around my knees. "Oh, that..." I remembered the disdain in Soul's voice earlier.

"Soul and Maka are mad. At me. Because I'm a dick." My eyebrows furrowed together.

Kid remained silent.

"I'm sorry... it's not your problem. I'll, uh, leave. Thanks for the clothes." I got up from my seat.

"Ah! Wait!" He stood up too, and walked over to me. His hands came up and stroked the side of my hair. "There, it's fixed. Your hair was out of place." My face heated up. The only male contact I had up until recently were from Ned and my dad, and it was still pretty rare. At the shop, either Ned or I were running errands, so we barely talked. And my dad lived in Canada, so... letters, pretty much. That make out session with Victoria's partner was a total lie, by the way.

In short, I wasn't used to attention from anyone, much less the kids from Shibusen.

"If you want, you could stay for dinner. Your house is on the other side of town."

I just nodded my head. My vocal chords couldn't function yet from the embarassment of Kid's proximity.

The dinner, unsurprisingly, was balanced and symmetrical, but also delicious. I was enjoying myself immensely when Patty gave me a glass of some dark reddish juice.

"What is this? It's delicioussssss," I said. My cheeks were slightly flushed.

"Grape juice!" She said happily, and drank her glass quickly and vigorously.

It wasn't grape juice. My mind was foggy and clouded the whole time and I was acting like an idiot. Patty didn't act any differently, I think, but I was kind of intoxicated, so I'm not sure. Kid and Liz walked in on us sitting at the table, me with my cheek on the table, and Patty laughing animatedly.

"Hey, Teddy, who do you loveeeeeee?" She inquired. Tears poured out of my eyes.

"I can't love anyone! My heart is so damaged," I blubbered. We hugged eachother from opposite sides of the table and sang rousing songs and swished our glasses back and forth, with Kid flitting about the table, trying to make sure we didn't knock anything over or spill our drinks.

"To the windoooooows," I began.

"To the walls!" Patti continued. Then we sang together.

"Till the sweat drops down my balls! All them bitches crawl! Ahhhh skeet skeet skeet skeet mother-"

"STOP! STOP!" Kid and Liz finally managed to confiscate the wine from us, and laid us both on the couch while they cleaned up the table.

When they were finished, Kid told me to spend the night so I didn't hurt myself on the way home. I sat on the couch all night, and only got up to pee, because the world spun whenever I moved. Basically, I was a lightweight, which is weird because I'm German and Irish. The two drunkest countries in the world. Did you think the Germans just ate schnitzel and sausages? No.

Anyways, all I did was think that night. I couldn't fall asleep because my head kept bringing up images of Soul and Maka, staring silently when I left. It didn't go away until morning, when Kid walked out into the living room and spotted me laying upside down with my legs thrown over the back. My face was red from blood rushing to my head. "Oh heyyy, Kid. Totally sober, woo." I gave him a thumbs up, but since I was upside down, my finger pointed to his carpet.

"Did you sleep well?" He said, his eyebrows raised.

"Nope, too busy trying to have an epiphany. Didn't work."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Listen, we have to leave soon... I have a mission today."

"Totally fine. I'm gone, bro. Thanks for the clothes and food and shelter for the night mister. See you 'round." With that, I left and walked home. On the way, I spotted both Knives Chau and Marylin Friday walking together. I didn't give a second thought about it and walked past them before turning a corner. But I _should_ have given it a second thought, because guess what happened next? They followed me and beat me up.

"So I see that Soul's mad at you. So he won't be mad at me for doing this," Knives said when she kicked my shin. Marylin was actually tougher than she looked and probably fatter than she looked too.

"You think I'll just let you throw yourself at Kid and stay the night at his house? What did you do over there?" She growled, her piercings rattling together.

"None of this is my fault. Leave me alone," I said, but I had no defensive skills whatsoever. Not to mention the sleep I didn't get. It hurt, but oh well.

I walked the rest of the way home with a black eye and bloody nose. It wasn't that bad, considering how insane these people were. I guess I should have been more aggressive or something, but I never was good at interacting with anyone. The beating didn't really impede my daily life, at least until a few people found out about it. Ned seemed concerned, but didn't venture further.

BUT THEN.

A familiar white-haired boy walked in the day after the incident. He brought in some old records to sell, but almost dropped them when his eyes drifted towards my face. "Oh man, what happened to you, Teddy?"

"So you're not mad anymore? People are confusing. I can't deal with you."

"No, seriously. It's not like we'd hold a grudge for this long."

"It's been like a day."

"Well... uh- look at you! What happened?"

"Um, don't worry about it. Probably just karma." He raised his eyebrows, but he didn't bother me about it anymore. He gave me the stack of records and I paid him a fair price and we went our separate ways. The day went by slowly until closing time, when Death the Kid walked down the street purposefully.

I tried to walk home without him recognizing me, but no dice.

"Teddy! Wait!" He ran up to my side when I stopped for him. He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. I looked at him sheepishly when he intook a sharp breath. "What happened to you? Soul told me that you got beat up!"

"Ah, it's no big deal, Kid. It doesn't hurt. And I didn't get _beat up_. I threw a couple punches," I said and crossed my arms. This was beginning to get troublesome. He frowned- no, he pouted.

"Why don't you talk to us? Don't you trust me?"

"Don't try to make me feel guilty! I'm the one who got beat up- er, in a fight!"

His eyebrows furrowed. Suddenly, he dropped to the ground, and grabbed his head with his hands.

"I'm sorry! I'm trash that doesn't deserve to live! Put me out on garbage day," He yelled into the cobblestone street. Embarrassed, I dragged him by the collar to my house.

"Kid, shut up, or I won't tell you anything," I said at the doorstep. He immediately straightened up and brushed his clothes into place. I stuck my key in the upper lock and turned it until I heard a click. We both walked inside and he sat straight in the middle of the couch. My eyebrows raised, but I closed the door and placed myself next to him on the couch.

"Okay. Ask away." He looked surprised, but regained his composure.

"What happened? Who did this to you? Who ruined your balance?"

"Some girls from Shibusen. Um, next question."

"Why can't you trust me?" This question threw me off. I wasn't expecting something so personal, I guess.

"Well, I've never really had any friends. So I'm not too sure how this whole thing works."

"Why?"

"Ergh. Um, how do I explain it? Wait a sec," I said, putting my index finger to my chin. "Okay. It happened when I turned five. A girl that was supposed to be my best friend ruined my party. She ate my cake. My birthday cake. The whole thing. And I could never trust anyone again."

He looked confused. "Was it symmetrical?"

"Yeah." Not really, but for the sake of this conversation it was.

"WHAT AN OUTRAGE!" A fire burned in Kid's eyes. "I would never do anything like that!" I had never seen him this passionate about... anything. My face went slack and my jaw dropped.

"All right. That's reassuring, I guess."

"Ahem. Teddy, are you okay?"

"I'm fine? Are you asking me in general? Or what?"

"I mean, does it hurt? The injuries? They ruined your balance."

My mind processed this. Is that all he cared about? Balance? Symmetry? Why was I asking so many questions?

"So, uh. I'm okay. It's okay. They'll heal."

Suddenly, his hands covered both sides of my face. It heated up when the blood rushed towards my head. His hands were cool, though, and soothing to my bruises and swellings. "You should put ice on these." I closed my eyes.

"It doesn't hurt." I let my head droop, and kept my lids closed.

Kid let his hands drop from my face. He pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. My face was still heated up, my muscles tight. He smelled like cleaning products, mostly lemon. It made me nostalgic, for some reason.

"My mom... before she left, she cleaned the house with lemon-scented stuff. That's what you remind me of." He smiled at me. "Kid? I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For calling you gay. You're not, I think."

"I was trying to forget that..." I pushed myself back and smiled at him.

"It actually hurts a little. My face."

"Yeah, it looks horrible. Couldn't they have punched out both your eyes?"

Step by step, we grew closer.


End file.
